|
|
Dec. 2nd, 2009 @ 01:00 am
|
|---|
One and a half years left to be in my 20s... I don't wanna be old D: I dunno why Im thinking that, it just popped into my head. mmmrmm... I had to buy a charger for mah zune. I got some songs for it. Taking it with me on the trip tomorrow. My boyfriend gave me a really sweet warm hug and nip on the neck when I got home (it was late I had bought one earlier today that didnt work so had to return it and since it was 11:30 at night no one was working customer returns or electronics. Then when I finally got help and got my correct charger, the woman infront of me spent over 160 dollars its like jesus h christ, i just have one thing... ONE... ARGHHH I should have bought it in the first place but I wasn't sure - I have an old ass zune "mini" anyways...) It really cheered me up :) I was happy he had stumbled out of bed just to kiss me goodnight :) He has been alot more affectionate and attentive the last month or two really. I'm very happy with him right now.
When I get back this weekend we are shopping for a new bed :3 It has been very long since we've slept in the same bed together. I am really excited. I like to cuddle while I sleep :D ALOT. Plus this couch is the suck. My back has been hurting the last few days. D: I tried sleeping on the floor the last few nights. Lastnight was the first night I slept back up on the couch.
Speaking of sleep I need it soon. Leaving in 9 hours and I gotta shower in the morning since I didn't yet today. And I wanna do a lil bit of cleaning before I go. I told my boyfriend to get me up when he goes to work around 8. |
|
|
Dec. 1st, 2009 @ 12:25 pm
|
|---|
I dunno but this song always ALWAYS makes me cry.... I definitely want to use this song in my wedding either the receding processional or at the reception somewhere. The lyrics are so simple but so damn true. I dunno why but it really resonates with me.
Affirmation by Savage garden
I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye(Repeat 2)
Until you say goodbye
Oh no no no no no ( Repeats itself many times fading)
|
|
|
Nov. 29th, 2009 @ 05:33 pm
|
|---|
I ordered a new laptop on black friday. It's my christmas pressent from my grandma. My current laptop is over 6 years old now (which is why I bought the new desktop back in august.) And it is physically falling apart. That's not a figure of speech or exageration. It is unhinged on one side and the "lid" or whatever the screen side is called is cracked, not the screen itself, but the caseing around it, and 3 or 4 different screws over the last 2 weeks have fallen out from INSIDE the laptop. I'm not even sure how safe it is to be using it, but it seems like it is running ok, I guess. Aside from the fact that for 4 or 5 months now the graphic card (which means it'd need a whole new mother board) has been glitching out on me. Screen just turns white or pale grey and sometimes gets colored lines or waves through it. It's rather annoying. But anyways yes...
I'm getting a new laptop :) It's a toshiba satelite. It's not great by any means but it's fairly decent for the price, about 700 before taxes, has nvidia graphics, 4 gb of ram, blue-ray player, tivo, surround sound, etc. The only thing thats a bit "weak" is it's processor is only a dual core and not a quad but it's about 2.3 ghz which is decent I suppose.
I'm excited :)
The only thing I don't think I'll like is the touch pad is too far to the left from the pictures I've seen. It's going to annoy me I bet. But still it's just a matter of adjusting how I type and where I rest my wrists.
I'm going to order a skin from skinit for it too, but I can't decide yet what picture I want on it.
-----------------------
In other news, I'm going to america's largest indoor waterpark on wednessday. I will be spending wed-fri there and coming home friday evening. I'm really excited :D It should be alot of fun!
-----------------
It's my boyfriend's birthday tuesday. I already gave him his pressent. I got him djhero renegade edition. Today he ordered my xmas pressent, a figure print of my gnome from warcraft. it's really cute :) It was really expensive but he bought it for me anyways. Im gonna buy him one too for xmas I think. |
|
|
Nov. 9th, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
|
|---|
Just took care of some unemployment related things. I am good for unemployment until March 27th 2010. Called and confirmed and asked some questions and stuff about extensions and so on.
Im not trying to "ride it out" or anything, but I was just concerned how long I had left etc.
If Im still unemployed come spring:
Im going back to school in spring and will probably get a small part time job
Im thinking vetinary technician or computer programing |
You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:
* Artist
* Historian
* Banker
* Novelist
* University Professor
* Photographer
* Vet
* Paralegal
* Graphic Designer
* Online Content Developer
* Webmaster
* Producer
* Managing Director
* Nutritionist
* Advertising
* Nursing
You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.
You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.
You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings.
You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.
You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open. |
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
Lol I realized I sounded like a total ditz in my last post. I was using that language as a satire/to be funny but then it makes me realize that people who don't know me probably think wow, this chick is annoying. :P
In reality, I am very quiet and shy. Not the type that is hyper and squeals and says "for reals" :P I dont think Ive ever said that with a straight face/non jokingly before lol.
Although I do say "like" alot in real life that is one of my worst habits
I also cant spell :)
Nov. 5th, 2009 @ 12:32 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I have a huge Z.Z I went to a renisance faire 2night. I have a feeling its not a very good 1. None of the vendor dudes were in garb at all. And half of the funhouse/haunted house ppl were also not in garb. It was sorta cool though. the haunted castle was the FOR REALS REALLY REAL authentic ORIGINAL munsters mansion from the 60 tv show. the one they used on the tv show FOR REALS.
That was pretty sweet.
Also 2 really funny things happened
First there was this scarecrow in a tree. And one of the girls we were with was like "I wonder if that's real" and Im like "naw it's just made of cloth and straw and stuff. And she's like "You never know" and Im like "Go poke it and find out" and she's like "Hell no" and Im like "Well fine I'll go poke it then" and I get up REALLY close to it and start to lift my arm and it jumps up and is a real person lol.
I wasnt as much scared as just REALLY embarrassed haha...
---------------
The 2nd was in the background of a photo I was like... standing making a face with a finger up and they all teased me and said I look like velma and my friend is gonna tag it as "Jinkies" lol...
So then we were thinking of going as a scooby group next year lol.
Of course Im the dorky/fat/frumpy one that no one likes lol.
--------------------
PS: glasses and renisance clothes are awful.... I look like such a total tool.
Oct. 31st, 2009 @ 02:26 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
Gah.... Everyone gets married so young... and within such a short time of knowing one another. After my grandpa's death it got me thinking about how short life is and what I want to do with my life. In a year and a half I will be 30... 30 years old. I always wanted to get married before I was 30. I dunno if it'll ever happen. I want children too... not right now... but soon. Before I'm 35 at the VERRRRY latest. VERY latest. Seriously. I'd like them within the next 2-3 years honestly. I want two. HOPEFULLY no more than that but if twins or tripplets or "oops" happened it would be ok. but I want at LEAST 2... I was an only child and it totally sucks balls. Seriously. I would never want to do that to a kid. And I don't even know if I can have kids. I have alot of internal female problems. Could always adopt. I suppose... and I might if I'm not married by time I'm 35 Or even if I am married and just can't have kids. I would like one of each really, a boy and a girl.
But I want to be married first....
I joined 43 things just now. I was maybe on it when I was a teen/tween. but I just just now a new account. First thing I picked was "get married" and reading through people's "how I did it"s it's all like "We dated for 5 months, were engaged for 2" It's like dear god... I've been with my boyfriend for 7 or 8 years (so long I've lost count) And all these ppl date for less than half a year and get married? WTFFFFF
I have to say I'm friggin jealous. And nervous... My time is running out. I've spent my entire 20s devoted to one man (brian.) and if things were to not work out... My youth is gone and wasted. It's not so bad for men, but women only have a few child bearing years. After 35 or 40 the danger to mother and baby raise exponentially.
Plus If I'm 35... I'll be 53 before the kid even graduates highschool... Probably close to 60 by time it finishes college... I want to have grandchildren and be active enough to play with them and see them graduate highschool and so on... You know? I don't wanna wait til my life is almost over.
I hope to be married someday.
Also adding to my list:
Get out of debt
Buy a home
Lose Weight
And lots of other things.
You will be able to view my list here when I am finished http://www.43things.com/person/Xenokitten
Oct. 30th, 2009 @ 11:29 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
My grandpa died...
I think Im still in shock.
I'm crying but I dont think it's really hit me yet that he's gone.
He was still pretty young since everyone in my family had children in their teens/early twenties, there was only about 20 years separating each generation.
My mom is 46 or 47, my grandma is around 65, and I think my grandpa was maybe 68 or so. roughly.
I feel really sad right now.
I'm all alone and need a hug.
Oct. 29th, 2009 @ 01:26 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I feel really sad. Tears won't stop coming from my eyes. My grandfather only has a few more days. My mom told me to answer the phone if it rang today because my grandma called lastnight when I was out and wants me to say something to my grandpa. just that I love and miss him. But it didnt ring. my mom ended up calling them, and I talked to my grandma for a few minutes. The last time I talked to her, and this time all she did was cry and I feel awful for her. My grandpa was asleep from all the medicine. She said he can't talk anymore, he stopped eating also it's been over a week since he's eaten. She said he holds her hand and stuff still but mostly he's out of it from the medicine even when he's awake.
I sat and thought about what I would want to say to him but thinking it'd be hard and maybe not wanting to say anything at all, and slightly glad/greatful that he was asleep tonight. Basically I would say "I'm sorry that I did not get to know you very well, but I love you very much and think about you all the time." But I dont even know if I can say that much without crying. I cant stop crying this is ridiculous. I'm not even that close to him why am I crying so much.
When they told me how bad he was last week I told my mom that I really did feel bad even though I was not close to him and she said stuff that made me sad maybe she didnt mean to but... she said "Well he is a hard man to get close to. That's not your fault. You were close to him when you were little even if you don't remember. She then went on to tell me all the things we used to do together. And I've seen home movies of it before, years ago, before I ever even knew he had cancer or was sick. I cried then too because I was close to him then and I felt shitty/sad/empty inside now/then in comparison. After she tells me all of these things she says "you'll always have those memories" But I don't. I don't have them at all because I was only 3 or 4 years old. Which made me feel even worse.
I have not lost anyone in my family before. I have never heard my grandma cry like that before. I've never thought about these things before. It sucks... I feel so sad. I think the more I type about it though the more I'll cry so I'll just go try to absorb myself in something else.
Oct. 27th, 2009 @ 11:34 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I have a million thoughts in my head and can't decide which to put down first.
I guess first and foremost, I went to the optometrist yesterday... As if I wasn't already geeky enough, now my outward appearance will express my inner geek :p Yep, I need glasses. My eyes are misaligned slightly, one looks up, one looks down, so my eyes have to work hard to keep it together so I don't have double vision. I also have a slight stigmatism, I can't read from far away, but it's very very slight. The doctor said if it wasn't for the misalignment that I probably wouldn't even need glasses, but the misalignment has been causing headaches and eye strain and sore/tenderness around the eyes for the last month or two, and he said it'll continue to get worse as my eyes become more and more fatigued. So yeah. Because my eyes are misaligned each lens had to be made special differently for each eye so it was really expensive. came to 500 bucks, but luckily penneys was having 50% off this month, so I got it for $256, still expensive but something that I need, my eyes are really bothering me more and more. They'll be ready for pickup in about 10 days.
I was really surprised after sifting through the countless lenses on the big chair lens-wheel thingy, just how clearly I could see. Now everything looks even MORE blurry. I never realized just HOW blurry everything really was. I just thought that's how things looked to EVERYBODY lol. I mean I knew I couldn't read small print from far away. But god damn... I went in, first thing you do is read the eye chart. He told me to pick the line where I could read most of the letters, it was like maybe the 3rd line down. But with the lenses, I could read another 3-4 lines further than that. In fact I could probably even read the very last line on the eye chart but I wasnt sure and he was saying to pick the line that was the clearest to read, so I read the line up one from the bottom. Like at first it was a lil hard and I missed some letters, but after fiddling with more of the lenses, I was able to read it easily without missing a beat and just rattle it off. Was like WHOO I can SEE OMG.
Ya the doctor said I need to wear the glasses "pretty much all the time" so my eyes are pretty screwed up - not just for reading but the misalignment etc. So if I want the headaches and tenderness to go away I have to wear the glasses. The prescription is good for 2 years, after that I am supposed to get them rechecked and adjusted if necessary.
The frames I picked out are kinda cute. They didn't have alot of the ones that they had on their website. And yeah, they probably coulda ordered them for me, but I tried some on there that I had really liked on the website and they were very unflattering to my face so I wouldn't have wanted to buy without trying them on. The ones I picked out are ok, not as trendy as I would have liked but they're kinda cute. They're purple or red (I can't remember I tried on so many) and kinda thick, not like super thick but not wire frames either, and then near the temple on each side they have a white swirl like design. Let me see if I can find a picture. Nope the ones I picked out aren't on the website. They are very similar to: http://www.jcpenneyoptical.com/images/products/crCR91-brown.jpg - In fact I tried those on and had a hard time deciding between that and the one I got, but the one I got, just felt like it sat better on my head, or more comfortable or something. Might be the same designer even. I can't remember. Hahaha I guess it'll be a surprise when I see them again since I've already forgotten what they look like. I don't even remember if they were red or purple ha. I just read an article just now while trying to find a pic of them that said red, purple, and "black and white combos" are the popular designs for this past summer, and with temple ornamentation. So I guess they are kinda trendy ;p /knew nothing about glasses just knew what I personally liked ;p. The lil thin wire frames are too "old" (old lady or old man or just old) looking to me. So I wanted a more bold looking frame. And colors, I love colors... true black goes with more stuff, but colors are fun :)
God it's probably gonna suck getting used to wearing them but it's gonna be SO nice to see. My eyes today have been REALLY peeving me off. I cant stop rubbing them now that I realize 1.) There's something wrong with them 2.) After seeing stuff bright and clear and darker and intensified, now everything looks "hazy" not just letters either but shapes and the whole world looks funny now. It always looked like THIS, but I never knew it before, and now that I know it's not SUPPOSED to look like this, it's like oh god, make it stop lol. I will be so happy when I get the glasses - I wasn't too thrilled at first but my boyfriend encouraged me and said (a few times the last few weeks) that I'd look cute in glasses and cheered me up :) And after seeing how different everything looks X_X; I never realized before. I'd never been to an optometrist just the highschool nurse once a year, and they didnt have the lenses there where they show you a buncha lenses and have you look at things through them. I remember one year, like in 9th or 10th grade, god that woulda been like 14 years ago now, they sent a note home with me that I needed glasses, but my parents didn't want to spend the money.
Probably the best purchase I've ever made X-X Something I actually need...
--------------------
Sooo I started typing this at like 10am but its now 10pm and I've forgotten most of whatever else I wanted to say. I know there were several other things. Among one is, it snowed lastnight, didnt stick, but makes me a sad panda.
Also I've been thinking bout canceling Aion - I can't really get into it, and it's just kinda "meh" to me. I recently started playing IMVU. Also did I mention before I bought Sims3 last month or so? Yeah, IMVU is so much better than the sims lol. I seen ads for it before but was always turned off by the ads because they're like kinda pervy or something, But it's basically like an online Sims game.
Actually....
What it's truely like...
Is an online Asian Ball Jointed Doll Simulation
You buy (or make your own and can even sell your creations) heads, eyes, wigs, clothes, there's different skin tones and faceups, and you can buy poses, and take photos. You can also decorate a room for your doll.
It's almost like my idea that I had for an asian ball jointed doll game. It's pretty effing schweet if you're an asian ball joint doll fan. And ALOT cheaper than getting into the REAL hobby haha.
I know there was other stuff I wanted to say but honestly now I have no idea.
Oct. 17th, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I came home for a few days to see my mum and do some laundry. It may be the last time I come home until spring. I know that sounds odd, but I have such a huge phobia about driving in the snow... or hell even driving period. but especially in the snow T-T;
The only bad thing about visiting is theres too much junk food. my mom buys me snacks when I visit. X_X And I pigged out all weekend back in Ohio too... I had a really lovely weekend. Went out to many meals and boyfriend was very loveydovey. First thing he said when he walked through the door friday night as he got home from work was "holy fuck, you've lost alot of weight, I mean ALOT of weight" which made me happy. I shyly said thank you and told him I'd only lost 12 lbs and it's not that much but he said it looked like I lost alot. It made me happy. He rarely pays me compliments, especially so spontaneously like that ehehe... But I've eaten so much the last two or three days T-T; aye-aye-aye.... Well when I get back home wednessday I will hit up the gym. I probably will gain a lb or 2, I mean... its alot of food. We got up early saturday and went out to breakfast together, then did our grocery shopping and got lunch at an amish "villa" place, its a hotel/restaurant/butchery/pantry type place where brian's family always buys their meats because its so cheap. We got all kinds of meats, poultry, and fish, and I got some hot cocoa mix, and he got a gallon of really good 100$ natural, no sugar or anything added, apple cider (which sadly will probably all get drank by time I get home T-T Q_Q QQ~~ lol) It tasted like I was eating (err drinking) a real apple, so different from like dole or commerical apple juice which taste syruppy and sweet. It was honestly delicious. We got some spices and sauces and other things. Then yesterday his parents invited us out for dinner. And friday night we had gone out to dinner... It's too much food T-T; my mum took me shopping to get some snacks and then we got a couple pizzas for dinner/lunch for the next few days.
The only hitch in the last few days was the cat was getting on brian's nerves and he snapped at me about it. I took the cat into another room and without realizing it, fell asleep quickly. When brian came to apologize a bit later it led to making out and some fun. :) It seems like he's gotten taller to me, I had to stretch almost onto my tiptoes to kiss him, well he is only 25 so it's not impossible for him to still grow a bit I guess. However I was really sleepy so maybe it was my imagination that made him seem taller the other night.
Speaking of height, I started watching Lovely Complex. The art work is terrible and really turns me off greatly, but the characters and storyline are very good. I like Haruchan~~ /squeals. He is cute :) Otani is cute too for a shortie lol. Risa reminds me of my best friend very much!! Soooooo much! lol. Basically it's an anime about a "taller than average" girl and a "shorter than average" boy. who go to the same school and aside from their outward appearances have almost everything else in common, but neither one wants to admitt they might make a good couple (despite their classmates telling them this repeatedly) because they both have a complex about their heights. It's a good show. Chiharu reminds me of me. Really shy/quiet in general and nervous/scared around guys especially guys she doesn't know. Maybe that's why the show is tolerable despite the bad artwork, it's very easy to identify with the characters and match them up to real life people/scenarios. The artwork isnt "bad" just very Shounen... not Shoujo enough for a love anime... not Shoujo AT ALL X_X /dies. shoujo anime makes me happy, one of my favorite passtimes is Shoujo anime!!
I "finished" watching Skip Beat, however I either have to wait for (and hope they bring out a) Season 2, or go read the manga.... Anime ends at chapter 67 and the manga is still going on with nearly 200 chapters so far. There were rumours season 2 would start in october but looks like they are only rumours. Season 1 just aired in Japan in april 2009 so it's a relatively new series.
I keep hopeing they'll make an anime of Absolute Boyfriend as it's my "absolutely" (harharhar) favorite manga of all time (yes even more so than Peach Girl) SHOCK :) I know.
When I was young, Yuu Watase was my favorite Mangaka, but that was a long time ago and my tastes have broadened alot since then, or actually... become more narrow to be honest. 15 years ago there was not much anime in the united states, so I greatly sought out any and all anime. But now... there's so much (that's commercially released) and having cable and dsl (which i did not have as a teenager) also broadens my horizons into fansubs.
Many of the shows I like are similar or similar/predictable plots. But I really like a certain specific kind of anime. A prefer a very drama filled love story, but one that is at it's core light hearted. "She the Ultimate Weapon" was too violent/dark for me. Cant believe I watched it til the end, not really my cup of tea. Now Peach Girl, on the other hand or Aishiteruze Baby :) Much better choices for me. I like gut wrenchingly sad moments in anime, hell Windaria is one of my all time favorite anime and as someone said it is "Relentlessly Depressing". Another reviewer said it's (and this is probably the PERFECT way to describe Windaria) "2 inter-woven Romeo and Juliet Stories" Including the suicide and everything. I just... I like the gut wrenching bits to be from emotional conflict more than physical conflict. Films that make you think, the characters have flaws but are still likeable, and just nail biting suspension
When I was young I used to love Harem Anime (Like Tenchi Muyo - and to be honest I still like Tenchi, especially the movies.) But I tried watching that new harem anime that just started a few months ago in japan - I dunno the name something Sora na Kaksheiko or something I cant recall the last word or hall to spell it or what it means. I couldnt get into it. The art work was good, and it was a reverse harem, 1 girl and many cute bishie boys. But I dunno I was just like Meh. I wonder if I would feel "meh" about Fushigi Yuugi after all these years. I tried to watch Angelique today. I find the bishies incredibly sexy, but... just meh to the series. I've tried to watch the older series a few years ago and now tried to watch abyss... I just feel very meh about it. Could take it or leave it - It didn't grab my attention, although Angelique is SUPER kawaii!! and the bishes are drop dead sexy. I just felt "meh"
Only good harem anime I've seen in recent years is Pretear. It was very good in my opinion just right amounts of love/drama/action and comedy. - I've tried to watch others but they've left me feeling pretty dis-interested.
I think brian may have given me a cold D: nooo do not want. Take it back!! I asked him if he was getting a cold saturday cuz he kept sniffling and throughout weekend began sneezing more and more and more and now lastnight and today I've been coughing T-T Brrrriaaaan why you gib me cold T-T /cries He swears he didnt have one but he didnt sound too hot in my opinion and it's suspicious I begin coughing about 2-3 days later
Doesnt hurt yet but Im sure it will --- for now it's just an annoying cough.
Speaking of hurt my eyes feel tired - I need to go get them checked next week hopefully if i can get into the doctors.
I forgot how small Mia (my chihuahua) is. probably a lb and a half. I think no more than 3-4 lbs for sure. She fits in one hand and is like a quarter of the size of my big fat cat lol.
My hamster is still alive! I'm surprised!! I read they have short life spans but I've had mine for over a year now. About 15 months. Pretty good when their average is 1 year. Go Cocoa, Go :) she is fat but very cute. I miss my pets when Im in Ohio. They are awesome. I miss my mum too and of course my grandma but she's not here right now.
I have a Z.Z I think I'll watch one more episode of Lovely Complex and go to sleep. Actually maybe skip that and go straight to sleep Im starting to slip into sleep already
I feel full and fat, but only another day and a half and then back to working out and eating very little throughout the day - not trying to diet, i just dont like cooking for one, too many left overs, so i tend to eat only 1 meal a day - which i know is bad for my metabolism. but meh. I need to stock up on some more quicky items like ramen lol (no nutritional value but better than skipping meals completely) as well as some fresh fruits, salads, and veggies Alright im gonna pass out Z.Z time for SLEEEEEEEEEEP /crashes
Oct. 5th, 2009 @ 11:27 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
argh noooo. there's going to be a 2nd season to skip beat T-T /cry. Cliffhangers are bad lol. It's supposed to begin on October 5th in Japan and since it's one of crunchyroll's featured series they should be simultaneously broadcasting it. I hope. T-T
Oct. 2nd, 2009 @ 01:04 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I feel like in anime or even some american cartoons where the character gets spinning stars above it's head. I stayed up too late. And got up too early. I feel like I'm litterally reeling I think a nap is in order. I was soooo caught up in "Skip Beat!" I only have 2 more episodes now til the end. I love 25 episode series. Perfect length. And it being a shoujo love/romance with a very strong female lead is great. Reminds me of Peach Girl. Even the art just a bit. I wonder who wrote Skip Beat! assuming it was even a manga before. Reminds me I still have a manga out in my car that I need to finish reading "Papilon" by the same mangka that wrote Peach Girl who's name I don't remember right now since Im running on 4 hours of sleep at the moment.
I found I had a pair of pants here :D YAY I thought all my fall clothes were back home in PA. These pants fit great. I normally don't like pants but these are comfortable and just the right length. I don't even know if I wore them much last year.
Trying to debate if I wanna watch skip beat or sleep. Im seriously thinking sleep is gonna win out here. But then again I can always sleep after I watch it too. Ah the joys of being unemployed. lol I kid. I really rather be working so that I am not a burden to anyone T-T;
Oct. 2nd, 2009 @ 10:14 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I love my cat. -That's all I wanted to say :)
Oct. 1st, 2009 @ 12:13 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I spent over 150 dollars and over 4 hours at the salon today... but it was so worth it. I love my new hair so much. I dont think I've ever been happier with a hair color/style before. It's close enough to scene hair to make me happy, but not look inappropriate with my age, and unlike the last time I went to the salon for color, they actually took time to do chemical tests and it didn't hurt at all. The last time I had professional color (and bleach and stripping and w/e else they do) it burnt like a bitch - i had itchy scabs on my head cuz they didnt know wtf they were doing. I got to the salon at 11ish this morning. It was 3:30 when I got out X_X; I didn't like the red at first because it's a lil more orange and I was looking for wine actually like a deeper subdued red. But they didnt have anything like it the girl mixed the haircolor using 2 different reds and a brown, she did 1 highlight first and let me look. I was thinking ungh orange, but she told me it'd change a lil after it dried so Im like ok we'll see I can always color over it in a few weeks wth - Im like oh its nice. and Then I started getting compliments from the other stylists and customers in the salon and started gaining confidence and even when I got home I still wasnt sure... but now 2 hours later I LOVE it. so so much. It's friggin awesome. I'm very happy :D I like the salon very, very much. Since I was there for 4 hours I gave the stylist working on me a 20 dollar tip. (It came to like 153 bucks anyways so 15 woulda been 10% which is what most people tip.) It was expensive, and time consuming, but just awesome. It is my natural root color as a base which is a very dark brown, and then this really pretty almost irish looking red throughout the whole thing. Even the under layers. It took almost 2 hours just to get the foils in because my hair is so thick. But it looks friggin awesome. I think anyways ^^; People that don't really like scene hair may not like it since it's super contrasty. /cough if I had my way the red bits would be hot pink lol but brian hates weird colored hair and he was "nice enough" to approve of the black and red combo.
As a bonus it makes my hazel eyes lean heavily towards the green end of the spectrum, when my hair was dark brown my eyes were almost black, now they're very green with like lil specks of brown.
And I like the hair so much I took over 50 pics lol. The pics where the hair is very dark in the brown areas and contrasty highlights are the most accurate (natural light with no flash)
Extreme picture overload beneath cut
( Read more... )
Sep. 30th, 2009 @ 06:21 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I feel extra tired today. Been up about 2 hours and have done nothing productive. It's one of those days. It's dark and gloomy as all heck outside. Probably cold too. I hate winter. I dont want to drive in it T-T I has a huge huge scared T-T... Q_Q;
I also dislike fall for it makes my allergies bad - and makes me sentimental; all the relationships I've had have all begun and ended in the fall, with the exception of the current one which began in winter and hasnt ended yet /knocks on wood. But yeah fall just reminds me of the ends of things. it's not as depressing as winter. I love the leaves when they change colors and don't mind a light soft clean rain, but... it's just the end of summer, the end of vacations, the end of childhood innocence, the end of sunlight, moving into darkness for another 5 to 6 months... meh. I am not a fan. Halloween is my favorite holiday so at least I have that to look forward to. Fall makes me a lil sad. I wish we could just fast forward to june.
I miss California. I dislike winters and snow. I know that if me and brian ever break up - not that I want to or anything -- I'll move back there in a heartbeat. I really really really miss it... alot. Why did I move back here again.... I thought I could run away from everything and make a clean start away from all the memories. But the funny thing about memories is, they follow you no matter how far you run.
It's not that they were better or happier memories than what I have right now. Just still it's human nature to think if you'd done this differently or that, then this. I guess. I think things like "If I hadn't slept with (the last guy I dated before brian) then we'd probably still be friends. Friends with benefits wasn't bad until I started developing feelings for the guy, and decided I didn't want to tell him because I lacked the confidence and even though he'd expressed that he was "just there to make me happy" and always asked "what can I do for you" and was always there for me... I still thought that most likely he didn't want anything like a relationship since we had never discussed it and never even went on a date, just chilled over at my house. Besides I'd never actually dated and it was nice until I realized how much I really liked him and then began to feel bad/guilty/slutty and pushed him away since I couldn't stand sleeping with someone without being in love. I mean it felt good and was fun, but made my heart ache too much to continue. We only slept together one time too, and I think things like "if I hadn't done that, we'd probably still be friends".
And then of course things with my first true love, it was all my fault that things didn't work out... because I was clingy and possessive and jealous and insecure and lacked confidence in myself or the relationship, even though he moved like 4 or 5 states away just to be with me, worked a job he hated which he often had to walk to since he had no car and didn't drive, just to pay rent to be with me... and I treated him so very horrible... I hate myself for that. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. I didn't realize at the time what a horrible complete psycho bitch I was. Even though I loved him more than life, and it was the first time in my life I ever felt even a shred of happiness, I unknowingly destroyed everything with my own 2 hands. And when he gave me a 2nd chance, I did it all again... I hate that... guilt and regret... even now 7 years later. Of course it took me probably a good 3 or 4 years to even realize what a horrible bitch I was and start to change. I'm still not perfect but I really try to make sure that whoever I'm with from now on, knows how important they are to me, how much I love them, and to treat them with kindness and compassion.
That's really all I can do is just try. I've made alot of mistakes in my life. and hell I still make them from time to time. But I really do try with brian to be as supportive and sugary sweet and gentle and kind and caring as possible. If things ever do end, I want to be able to look back and say "We just weren't right for eachother" instead of "Oh god, how could I fuck that up so badly" lol... Of course hopefully things will never end between us :) but in the event they ever did, I think that's the best scenario I could hope for.
Sep. 28th, 2009 @ 11:06 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
Ungh. I drank too much - Im gonna be feeling this in the morning for sure. meanwhile im drunk, horny, and not all that tired. Despite getting sick, we did fool around a lil, not as much as I wouldve liked since he wasnst vetry drunk. He took naughty pictures of me, for hismself I trust. I havent let anyone do that nor have they wanted to since my first boyfriend. Yesterday my boyfriend complimented me on my weight loss. said I'd lost alot of weight and made me feel good. boy when i close my eyes they wanna stay closed - i guess im goin to sleep in a few minutes rather I want to or nt. I think Im so frunk at this point that I dint wreally have a choice. Can barely move body. Can barely walk or stand up. Was fun titl I get sick. I can't sing white wedding and my scoore on it resulted in 14 shots... yes really that many from 1 song. Seriously not a typo. X_X; Drunken rockband drinking game is fun til yo get completely destroyed like that. Sorry for any typos, I am beyond trashed right noww.Was fun til I got my asss kicked. At least im not sick anymore, orperty much felt better like 99.99% vetter after gettng sick awile ago. Eyes feek so goood swhen they close seriously. I go to slleep niw, Write more later.
Sep. 27th, 2009 @ 01:25 am
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
._.; Raid soon in WoW. I kinda dont wanna go, but Triumph badges are luffz *heart*. Plus Onyxia :O. And Voa mebbe if alliance captures it.
I been playing sims 3 all day - well I cooked dinner and ate dinner and showered this morning and helped carry in groceries and dropped the rent off at the leasing office, but ya other than that, sims 3 lol. :)
I'm glad I bought it. It is alot of fun to me. It doesn't seem like it'll get as "stale" or "boring" as fast with the traits, places to go in the town, downloadable content, and life goals with lifetime happiness rewards, and the genetics system is neat :)
After raid it's time for a lil "fun" emphasis on quotations ^-^;; meow m^-^m /pounce hehe.... ^^;;;;;;;; At least that's the plan - raid better not last all damn night, WoW is not better than sex lol.
I bought a new bra the other day on a scale of 1-10 in comfort its like a 6 maybe at best, but on how sexy it makes my chest look, like a 9 or 10 lol. It's some type of "double" push up bra, supposed to give you double cleaveage. I actually just went looking for a moderately comfortable flesh tone bra with removable straps for my halloween costume. It's not really Uncomfortable persay, but given that it's doing it's job of lifting and squishing my breasts together, it's a lil erm "confining" ;p But knowing that we were planing to fool around tonight I decided to try it out :). I definitely like the shape it gives me, at the expense of being slightly squished lol
Sep. 26th, 2009 @ 04:18 pm
|
| » (No Subject) |
|---|
I feel sad. I heard from my mom that my grandfather is as she put it "very very very sick" and "he can't even get out of bed anymore" It seems like the last week or so the cancer has spread rapidly and he may even already be dead as I'm typing this. My grandmother had flown to take care of him, back in june or july, I haven't seen her since then. She was supposed to come home tonight but then yesterday I guess his condition became like this. Literally on his death bed at this point. I feel genuinely sad. I was not as close to him as I am to my grandmother, but he is still my biological grandfather, and I've never experienced a death in the family, even my great grandmother is still alive, everyone in my family had children very young so there's only 16-20 years separating each generation. So no one has passed yet, none of my aunts or uncles or anyone. So when my grandfather passes it might effect me more than I'm anticipating. I already feel very anxious and sad. I regret not knowing him better. I guess my grandma is (understandably) just staying out there to take care of him til he passes. Which sadly, doesn't seem that far off. It's sad. I'm crying typing it even. Argh, stop that.
-----------------------
So in other news which maybe seems inappropriate or rude to post in the same post, but trying to save space, I got Sims3 a few days ago, installing it now :) Should be fun. Aion is going well except for the 6 and a half hour queues... I don't play Aion as much as I'd like. I'm only level 10 but have fairly high crafting already and many other characters around that level also. I deleted my asmodian mage, and remade her - I dunno why, heh just to play with the character generator It's fun for me :) WoW is going good as well. We had alliance realm first for the new Onyxia encounter. 5th overall. (dang hoarde) hehe.
----------
What do you all think of live journal's new partnership with adsense? I think it's a good concept but I don't think you should have to pay, I mean blogger and wordpress and millions of other free journals already give you this option for free. - Oh well - not a big deal. My days of earning money blogging are far gone now. I still try occasionally, but meh. I made about 400 bucks over the course of 16 months or so with my journal and websites etc. Bought myself a few things and did xmas shopping for **everyone** back in 2007-i think it was around then. Was really nice to have that extra money and was really nearly effortless on my behalf. But alot of the good sites arent around anymore or you have to have like a really high google page rank and alexia score. Which of course most people's little private journals and websites don't have.
Anyways my game is ready to play ^-^ ja ne
Sep. 25th, 2009 @ 12:49 pm
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
rpg_goddess's journal