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Oct. 7th, 2010 @ 08:33 am
I don't think I feel good - the past two days i've been really sick to my stomach and I feel really tired, like my arms and legs feel heavy. damn you flu season!! damn youuuuuuuu D: In other news, work continues to go well. We went to a clam bake thing at the vice presiden't house. I tried clams. Me and my boyfriend are both extremely quiet and shy though so it was somewhat awkward. I wanted her dog omg... husky! *heart*. I got a compliment at work yesterday saying the new template that I made for the power point presentations was quote "totally bad-ass" LOL... It made me really happy XD I TOTALLY spent 3 days on it lol. They were just using one of the built in templates in power point before. It looks all spiffy. Yesterday and today are devoted to working on the company's website. I think I have evaluations today. maybe? It said on our gameplan sheet "quarterly evaluations oct 6 and 7" and since I didnt have one yesterday... I was a lil nervous before, but based on positive feedback on my recent work, I'm feeling more calm... However, I would not be surprised if my nausea was from the nerves and anticipation. Having been layed off multiple times now, I just worry. I think things are going pretty good though. I went to an amusement park last weekend. That was fun. Next weekend is blueman. Weekend after that, Cedar Point. Weekend after that, halloween ^^ - My social life has suddenly become busy! And I've been busy with work and school too! Busy, busy, busy.... Tired... But it's a good thing :)K I goes to works now - kthxbai!!

Oct. 1st, 2010 @ 10:36 am
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg... I'm going to get to go see Lady Gaga on Aril 27th :)

Improving Sep. 23rd, 2010 @ 05:52 pm
Work has been very rewarding. I don't even think I mentioned that I found employment... probably because I was so scared that it would turn out the same way as the last few jobs. But this job is going well. /knocks on wood. I just finished my training today. Been there about a month. My health/vision/dental benefits start next month. I'm only part time right now, but hopefully that will change soon. I desperately need more money lol, I'm making JUST BARELY more than what I made on unemployment LOL (like 16 bucks more each 2 weeks) Like I said, baaaaarrrreeeellly more lol... Earlier this week the president discussed the thought of starting me on some projects which have bonuses tied to them. That would be great. I'm naturally competitive (aren't most gamers? lol) and I like money ^^.

I'm technically working as a secretary for a recruiting firm. However, I feel more like I'm doing what my MBA degree is in tune with. This brings me alot of satisfaction. I honestly was not sure wtf my degree would do for me. It was like a last ditch effort when I hit rock bottom. Figured maybe furthering my education would do something for me. Going into business was really never my original goal or plan in life. But.. When I interviewed here at my current job, one of the things the president really liked was that I was going for an MBA in E-commerce.

I feel alot like an "e-marketing specialist" although I'm still learning so "e-marketing specialist in training" I suppose haha.

My day consists of creating alot of marketing and recruiting emails, powerpoint presentations, redesigning websites, maintaining/updating/redesigning social network sites such as the company's ning, twitter, facebook, myspace, etc. And doing alot of internet searches/name gathering/data entry.

I really like the job because it is very creative in alot of aspects.

Oh that's another thing. I'm taking a marketing course this semester and LOVING it. I currently have 100% in the course and am enjoying it so much that I have chosen to take another marketing course next semester. It is really fun/interesting to me!! I am learning that I do like/enjoy/and even excel at other things. So my lack of success in the graphic arts path is now much more of a softened blow.

I am slowly regaining my ego/self esteem (not that it was EVER that high to begin with... but certainly being laid off multiple times did not help!!).

I also really like my coworkers. They are all really nice. Me and the boyfriend are going over to the (well I call her a manager even though she's not really, she's one of the original founders of the company though brought over from another company, and most of my tasks/duties/responsibilities are handed down to me from her so to me she's kinda like a manager) Anyways with that said, we're going to the "manager's" house for a clambake next week. I had no idea wtf a clambake was so I googled it. Aparently it's when they cook lobster over a firepit or BBQ grill served usually with crab, clams/muscles, corn, potatoes, and salad. I've never had a clam before lol they don't look that appetizing... but I like all the other stuff, and i'll at least try a clam so I don't look bad infront of the boss/coworkers LOL XD. ACTUALLY, I've been trying alot of different food lately. I tried Suishi for the first time a few weeks ago. (Every friday that we make our goals we go out as a team for lunch on the company's card.) I also tried Thai food about 2 weeks ago (and actually really liked it, I went back again by myself lol) Let's see what else... hmm... OH we went to a Haibachi Steak house where they cook the food infront of you! XD It was entertaining but our chef was either new or just sucked. He TRIED his best to do tricks, but failed miserably lol. He tried to flip a lemon with one knife in his left hand and "catch" it with the knife in his right hand. He had to do the trick 3-4 times cuz he kept missing. He also insulted one of my coworkers although I thought the joke was pretty funny lol... I still felt bad for the coworker you could tell he was offended. But it was fun, definitely a cool experience.

So recently in my personal life, we went to see Weird AL at the "Taste of Cleveland" he was AMAZINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG I can not stress that enough. OH MY GOSH.... He performed for almost 3 hours and nearly every single song had a costume change. He had SO much energy and really engaged the audience. I LOVED IT!!! We will definitely go see him again if he comes back to the area!!! It was so funny!!! Just a great, awesome, fun, enjoyable night out!!! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND SEEING HIM LIVE!!! He is funny and family friendly. NONE of his songs contain foul or explicit language. That's just sooo rare for comedians these days! Man is a genius. SOOO happy that we went to the concert!! We were sitting in the 9th row from the staaaaage!!!!!!!!!! But off to the side D:

I also ordered tickets last week for blue man group!!!!!!! I have never seen them!! Always wanted to! They just seem cool. Boyfriend is not very happy/excited. He says they are "alright" He says he'll go but you can tell he doesn't want to lol. Oh well maybe it will surprise him and he might enjoy it more than he thinks. It is at the beautiful palace theater at playhouse square!! I have never been there!!! It's a beautiful old opera house! Seriously, phantom of the opera was just there in august. And they usually have classical music and ballets and stuff. Seems weird blue man group and their messy antics will be at such a ritzy/upscale facility but I'm super excited XD We're in the tenth row but ALAS ONCE AGAINNNN off to the side!!!! LOL! :(

Also in march, Shrek the musical is coming to play house square. I mentioned it to my boyfriend and was actually... SHOCKED... that he seems to REALLY REALLY REALLY want to go see it O_o; He does not strike me as a broadway musical fan LOL He says he doesn't care "cuz shrek is awesome". Cats is also going to be at the playhouse square in january. Thinking of taking my grandma to see it... haven't decided yet. I wish I had known phantom was there in august. She would have loved that. Yesterday was my grandma's birthday. She turned 68. Wish I could have been with her. I miss her alot. She's the best. She just got a facebook last month to keep in touch with her sister and niece lol. I rarely ever use facebook but have been trying to go on more to talk to her there. But usually I'm lazy and/or forget.

My boyfriend should be home any minute we're going out to dinner tonight. dunno where yet.

Also I REALLY want to get tickets to go see the trans siberian orchestra... but need to save money D: Conflicted.... SHOULD save money... but WANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT D: One of my coworkers goes EVERY year. And says they are amazing. My best friend went last year. I have ALWAYS wanted to go. Like seriously, even back when I was in highschool. I just always wanted to go see them. D:

Also ozzy is going to be in cleveland on december 5th... It would be cool to see cuz I like a few of his songs (some are too "hard" for my tastes (I'm not that big on hardhard screaming rock where u cant understand the lyrics. but lol with ozzy you cant understand him cuz of the drugs anyways, even his slower songs (or just him talking) lol) But i do like alot of his songs, crazy train and uhm i forget the name of the other one right now. PLUS.... he is a legend. an icon. Probably the most famous rocknroll artist of the last 25 years or more. It'd be cool just to say I seen ozzy. Ya know? I bet tickets are sold out already though. They went on sale last week.

And I STILL want to see motherfuckin lady gaga. SO annoyed at the god damn ticket scalpers. I was on ticketmaster AS SOON as tickets went onsale. within like 15 seconds they were ALL sold out!!! BULLSHIT. not just for 1 show, but for THREE different shows I tried D: SO SAD. She's my favorite!!! LOL. I know... you can laugh and ridicule me. I love her though. Best pop artist of our generation. Gaga is to pop in 2010 what madonna was to pop in 1980. She is just amazing, and shocking, and her songs are the catchiest craziest songs ever ^^ Her costumes and energy and stage presence are awesome. If I could get tickets I would be so happy D: My cousin is going in January... I want to go GOD DAMMIT LOL.

Currently waiting on my order from dollmore to ship. ^^ Melissa Baul with custom dollmore non-default makeup. regular bustline not glamour. (glamour is really pretty in lingerie or nude, but looks weird under sweaters/higher cut tshirts/etc.) (just my opinion!!) XD I'm interested to see how she will turn out with my requested faceup...

Anyways bf is here. time for fewds

Jul. 21st, 2010 @ 07:16 pm
My cats are getting along ^-^ yay

I joined weight watchers online - yay

Walk it Out is the coolest wii game I've ever played - yay

Before I took my quiz today in math I had a 98% yay (I thought I was doing really poorly and was freaking out / panicing / stressed about it I've kinda estimated how I think I've done on the quiz, and figure my new average will be around an 86% or so. Which is passing, and high enough to maintain grade point average still for enrollment.

I have to work on a paper and some group work for my behavior studies class sometime between now and tomorrow at 6pm. - boo.

The bill to pass the unemployment extension passed in the senate yesterday - yay

It is now waiting for approval which may take a few days from Obama - boo

Rent is due next week - boo (I have enough to cover it, but boo lol)

All my other bills are paid this month - yay

I'm supposed to hear back about an internship that I really want before friday - yay?

I have another interview for someone else on friday - yay?

I have to drive 59 miles to get to said interview... /dies X_X

I don't know what I want to cook for dinner tonight - boo

Boyfriend is working overtime - boo

I was extremely sick lastnight - boo.... :( I'm actually kinda concerned... about it. I dunno I still don't feel 100%. I was feeling good yesterday. Went to a career fair that started around 6pm... I'd say around 7pm, out of NO where, I got a sudden migraine headache, and indigestion. I figured, ok, I've been so worried about my new diet, that I'm not eating enough. The meeting runs til 8pm, I stop and get some food... only to find that made things worse, and my indigestion has no transmogrified into horrible severe nausea, and I have to drive over 45 minutes to get home. :( Came home, tried to get sick, to relieve the pressure on my stomach, couldn't, went and laid down, like an hour later got really sick, was in the bathroom at least like 25 minutes just getting sick repeatedly. Cleaned myself up, and went directly to sleep. Slept like 10 and a half hours.

I figure it's probably that time of the month. I'd say about 60% of the time, I get nausea from aunt flo's visits. And my visitor has been really weird the last 2 (going on 3) months now. Like in may, almost didn't have one at all, til like 3-4 days before the end of the month. Then just had one that was so light and weird that it was barely even like a period at all and was a funny dark brown almost black color. but like really light, which for me like almost never, infact probably never ever had happened ever before. I always have really heavy horrible ones where i leak and bleed through everything, especially in the middle of the night. This one, if I wanted to, I couldve worn a pad for 2-3 days and it wouldnt even be like 1/4th of the way full. I changed it a few times a day to just feel clean/fresh. But i'm just saying most the time, it was like a thumb sized drop of blood, or at most a tiny thin stripe, hardly anything there.

So then after that was done... Like 1.5 to 2 weeks later... Another period. A really reallly really really heavy hard one. I figured cuz it was just like backed up or something from May. But I mean it was crazy heavy. But it was back to the normal dark red color. It came like right on time for my visitor... but I was obviously not expecting it, since my last visitor was so late. I would say it was just spotting in may, but it lasted like the regular 5 days like a regular period. So I dunno. Weird.

The months before may, from like december to may... my visitor was coming relatively around the same time each month. between like the 7th and 11th of the month. And then last month in june it came on like the 9th so like I said, right on time.

But this month nothing so far. Last week I had really bad cramps like I thought I would start. I even took 2 midol, because I had such sharp stabbing pains near my ovaries. But nothing.

So it's another screwy period. It is not at all uncommon for me to skip months entirely. It's also not uncommon for me to have nausea and get sick when my visitor comes.

Of course, I talked to my parents, just to talk to them, not about anything, and I mention I was sick lastnight and the first thing they ask me is if I'm pregnant. lol. WTF? everytime I have a tummy ache or the flu now I'm pregnant? Really? I really doubt that. unless there are like magical sperm fairies that visit me while I sleep. I'm not saying its 100% impossible... We did have sex like twice in the time between now and after my last visitor that I can remember. But most of the time we just fool around and dont go all the way. Besides that when we DO go all the way we are always careful anyways. /cough although not as careful as we should be I suppose lol. (natural planning method or whatever it's called lol.) So yeah like there's like maybe like a 2% chance maybe. lol. I'm going to say it's pretty much impossible. and if not impossible, highly improbable.

On an unrelated note:

People are like omg why do you not talk to me anymore. And not just one or two people, but lots of people. I spend alot less time online, and i dunno lately ive kinda withdrawn from people and dont feel like chatting. its nothing against them... I just dont know what to say, dont really know. I've kinda been withdrawing lately. It's weird. I guess I'm going thru a phase. I feel bad, I'm just not returning calls or texts or emails or IMs. I just really feel distant lately.

Maybe I'm depressed. I've felt this way for a month or a month and a half now. Probably has alot to do with me getting laid off and all. My weight gain, stress from school, less than 100% healthy, and just feeling blahhhh

Bleh. :(

Jul. 14th, 2010 @ 03:01 pm
As promised, here are pics (and videos) of Emily. She is a 2 yr old Maine Coon Mix, adopted from Petsmart on 7/13/2010. She was brought into petsmart by Portage County Animal Protective League (APL). They rescued her and many other cats from a hoarder who had too many cats to care for them all. Emily was underweight and tangled so badly that her fur had to be shaved off. That was back in february. She was placed up for adoption on june 2nd at the Petsmart in Aurora Ohio. We had been discussing adopting another kitty to keep our current cat company in the day time while we worked and went to school. I decided to take a drive out to aurora to put in some applications and I happened to see they had a petsmart, So I stopped in to look at the cats and get some photos to show my boyfriend who was making the final decision. We went up together to look at them again. I just stood back, since boyfriend wanted to pick one out, since I had picked out our last pet. There were several that I really liked so I didn't have a preference really. My boyfriend had really liked the cat caged directly beneath emily. He had asked to hold it/take it out 2-3 times. Upon going back to it the final time, the cat above it (Which was Emily) Stuck her paws between the bars of her cage and tried to reach out to him. She was rubbing her face and front end against the bars, meowing, and trying to get his attention. He felt bad for her, so decided to stop and take a look at her/hold her for a minute before letting the one beneath her out again. When he opened her cage, she came right up to him, and tried to jump into his arms. After holding her for about 5 minutes, he told the clerk that he wanted to start the paper work to adopt her. She sorta picked us I guess, more than him picking her. We've had her less than 24 hours, but I already love her.

Emily's Pretty Face

Emily Mousie 2

Emily with Kong Toy

Emily looks at Camera

Emily in Petsmart
Other entries
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We got a new cat today. She doesn't like Kaylee very much yet. It will take awhile probably. Her name is Emily a maine coon who was confiscated for abuse/neglect from a cat hoarder. She is aprox 2 years old. I will put up pix tomorrow.
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Today is one of those days, where even the sun and the air and general atmosphere all around seem so positive. It has been a good day. Despite my feeling sleepy, which could be due to the glass of wine I had, I feel very upbeat and positive today.

My boyfriend got a job today, he doesn't start for a few weeks. I know he really, really wanted this position. I am happy for him.

I got a call today, for an interview next friday :)for best buy! :D I'm really excited since I have ALWAYS wanted to work there. lol. I know the pay isn't great, and whatnot. But hey retail is what it is, ya know, and if I am going to work retail, let it be for a store which I absolutely love!! And in a field that I am EXTREMELY passionate about. :) That makes it at least a lil bit better - I'm actually REALLY wanting this job. I can't wait til my interview :)

It's 73 degrees and sunny - or it was, it's almost 8pm now so the sun is setting and dusk is descending now. The air smells sweet, there's a fairly strong, but not overpowering wind/breeze, and it just has been such an energizing/positive day.

Even my hair looks very cute right now today. (low humidity = no frizzies = awesome waves and curls lol)

I feel great like on top of the world :3 Today is a good day.

Less than 2 weeks til Persona 3.... /feels like a rocketship about to take off

/chews on something in anticipation


So my battle plan is this: I have one week. I know areas which I am already strong/solid in. With E3 just a mere week ago, I can confidently talk and discuss the new games. I vaguely know which movies are soon coming to blueray/dvd. I am pretty confident in computer software knowledge - my degree will help me here, as I can help sell studio software since I have years of first hand experience. I am confident in my ability to discuss the latest phones/priceplans/explain prorartion, usage charges, upsell, and reccommend features/plans to meet a customer's needs. But I have one week to study the things I know little about, like the refresh rates on hdtv's, the new samsung 3d hdtv which bestbuy is pushing right now, and stereo equipment which i know zilch about right now.

I am going to be so confident and so relaxed and prepared that the job will be sure to fall into my grasps. I am very confident that I will rock at this job :)
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Got laid off again. Im not sure what I'm doing wrong. I'm pretty much giving up on design, and going to go back to school this fall for something else.

Tomorrow's my birthday...... nothing happy about it though.

I'm turning 29. my last year to be in my 20s. I have no idea (career wise) what I want to do with my life, or what I SHOULD do with my life or be good at doing. I'm almost 30 and I don't even feel like I know myself really.

I feel like a complete failure.

To make it worse, I'm homesick as fuck... It's the first birthday since my grandfather passed away. No one knows that I even care about such a thing, but it's been making me sad for a few days now, We shared the same birthday. I don't express it into words, to anyone because I feel awkward missing someone I was not close to and barely even knew.

And while I'm in NO way upset or angry, AT ALL (let me just stress that please), I feel, disappointed and sad (it's natural isn't it?) That my engagement and wedding plans had to be called off.

Everything just goes to shit all at once.

I just don't fucking know I feel so fucking depressed right now. Worst birthday ever, in my entire life.
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I think i mightve posted but i dont really remember... so appologies if this is old news

I got a new job yesterday. Working as a layout and production artist for a small newspaper. I'm only on my 2nd day and still on probation but I think it will work out.

I'm almost 29 years old. My birthday is this saturday.

My boyfriend sadly got laid off last week. So I won't be getting any gifts from him. He was going to propose and get me a ring, but thats on indefinite hold now til the end of whenever I guess. Of course I'm bummed out but it's not his fault so I am trying not to show how depressed I am.
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^-^ I'm going on vacation tomorrow for my "birthday" which is still 12 days away but due to my folks' work schedules we're celebrating early :P /flashes two cute V for victory symbols at her monitor in sheer excitement.

I am getting some money from my grandma for my birthday which I <3. I already know for SURE that i'll be buying / pre-ordering Persona 3 PORTABLE. WITH ALL NEW FEMALE PROTAGANIST OMGGGGGGG /gurgling sounds. WANT SO HARRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD /dies in anticipation D: I dont think it comes out til july D: this makes me all sad panda style emo. Persona 3 (and possibly 4 as well) are the ONLY games I've enjoyed MORE than lunar.... Lunar was my favorite childhood game. Had many "rpg loves" but Lunar was THE love of my young gaming life. Until I played Persona 3. That game is just damn sexy lol. It's fun, it's characters, voice acting, animation, combat, gameplay, and of course DATING SIM ELEMENTS make it easily the most enjoyable game I have ever played.

AND NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OTOME GEEKS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It's only the 2nd ever EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER otome game to get an "official" US release. (The first being Yo Jin Bo (which thanks to my best friend last year on my birthday I recieved :D).

:P Not that the fact that it is an Otome game has anything to do with WHY atlus is bringing it out. They merely want to capitalize on the huge success of the ps2 version. Which is fine with me ^-^ I care not. OTOME GAMES FOR ANY REASON = WANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT-ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ok :) im done geeking out like a newb hehe.

So blockbuster sent me this thing now u can rent games AND movies from them for one price... I currently have netflix AND gamefly... I wonder if i can save money if i go back to blockbuster. /ponders.
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